Every time I pick up a T-shirt, all the issues resolve themselves

You suck at Dota — I'm going to check you suck a dick

Gave an old iPhone as a Christmas present and had to suck it up like a new one

Almost blew me off on the first date, but the situation was saved by sex

Honey, do you know that you have to pay for expensive vacations with sex?

Woke the babe up early in the morning, knowing she wouldn't refuse to fuck

Friend girl is a distance learner, but misses classes because of sex

How can you not come on such a sweetheart when she wants cum so badly?